The death of a cherished pet creates a sense of loss for adults and produces a 
predictable chain of emotions.  The stages of grief are typically denial, sadness,
depression, guilt, anger, and, finally, relief (or recovery). However, the effects 
on children vary widely depending upon the child's age and maturity level. The
basis for their reaction is their ability to understand death.

2-3 year olds
Children who are two or three years old typically have no understanding of 
death. They often consider it a form of sleep. They should be told that their pet 
has died and will not return.

Common reactions to this include temporary loss of speech and generalised 
distress. The two or three year old should be reassured that the pet's failure to
return is unrelated to anything the child may have said or done. Typically, a 
child in this age range will readily accept another pet in place of the deceased 
one.

4-6 year olds
Children in this age range have some understanding of death but in a way that 
relates to a continued existence. The pet may be considered to be living 
underground while continuing to eat, breathe, and play. Alternatively, it may 
be considered asleep. A return to life may be expected if the child views death 
as temporary. These children often feel that any anger they had for the pet 
may be responsible for its death. This view should be refuted because they 
may also translate this belief to the death of family members in the past.

Some children also see death as contagious and begin to fear that their own 
death (or that of others) is imminent. They should be reassured that their 
death is not likely. Manifestations of grief often take the form of disturbances 
in bladder and bowel control, eating, and sleeping. This is best managed by 
parent-child discussions that allow the child to express feelings and concerns.

Several brief discussions are generally more productive than one or two 
prolonged sessions.

7-9 year olds
The irreversibility of death becomes real to these children. They usually do not 
personalise death, thinking it cannot happen to them. However, some 
children may develop concerns about death of their parents. They may become
very curious about death and its implications. Parents should be ready to 
respond frankly and honestly to questions that may arise. Several
manifestations of grief may occur in these children, including the development 
of school problems, learning problems, antisocial attentiveness, or clinging may 
be seen. Based on grief reactions to loss of parents or siblings, it is likely that 
the symptoms may not occur immediately but several weeks or months later.

10-11 year olds
Children in this age range generally understand death as natural, inevitable,
and universal.  Consequently, these children often react to death in a manner 
very similar to adults.

Adolescents
Although this age group also reacts similarly to adults, many adolescents may
exhibit various forms of denial. This usually takes the form of a lack of 
emotional display. Consequently, these young people may be experiencing 
sincere grief without any outward manifestations.

We are here to help
Further information and advice is available from your PETSfirst practice to
assist in grief management of the unexpected death of your family pet or the
impending decision on the euthanasia of a pet.